While I loved the guys attention to my son's sail training, I had a hard time getting them to take me seriously when I showed interest. Plus, the guys were playfully rough with each other, and conversations usually lead to us women being talked over, and eased out. It was a silent notice that this was the domain of men. Oh, I wish I had been born a boy because inexperienced boys were expected to learn while we grown women had to play concerned "mom on shore".

Then there's the annual "Women's and Junior's Race. Every year, the guys are baffled that no women enter. Yet, this race is scheduled again and again every year. First, we women have spent yet another year not being put at the helm, not being asked tactical questions, not be asked our thoughts about anything, and we're suddenly supposed to race? Just to bring home the position of women, we're compared to children . Where's the expectation?

So, I decided to join a tall ship in the South Pacific. It was a six month set of passages among the remote islands of Vanuatu–450ish nautical miles west of Fiji. There, I was expected to run the helm, right away, on a 115" ship. My captain had me regularly help him in the engine room, at which I got a lot of practice because we had constant engine problems. I got comfortable going up to the first yardarm, and was working my way to the second. I took watches, did my part in the galley, but so did the guys. It was empowering. Gender meant nothing. Crew meant everything.

Sorry this is so long, but the point is, men can't have it both ways: we can't be expected to be boat savvy if we're always told to let these be men's duties. Girls are still told to be princesses and shop while men learn engines and climbing and sailing tactics. I have lots of men that I adore that don't realize we women can wear heals and fix auto-pilots. Can't think of her name, but consider the teenage girl whose dad put her in a boat, with little experience to circumnavigate the globe. She learned a ton and fast.

Women are capable. We're just taught that we aren't early enough that we develop interests in other areas and stay away from "men's activities. I wish so much that men weren't threatened by women being as competent as they are. But, we've also taught men that that is their role too. Women and men both act as they've been taught.

Anne, I love that you embrace both your intelligent side and your sexy side. You don't let anyone say no to you. Good for you. Keep up the really needed dialogues that you present. So proud of you.