You each come across as well-educated educators/academics. Prepping to go offshore is no different than anything else. Educate yourselves and run scenarios until you’re confident you know what you’re going to do and how you are going survive each.

Yes, the worst could happen and your vessel could sink in four minutes, though is more likely that it will take a long time, if it sinks at all. But, if it did sink in four minutes how would you all survive? What are the preparations you would make and the actions you would take? It is very survivable, though you must be confident you know what you will do in each of these scenarios. As you work through them and gain both confidence and competence, the fear will subside.

Let’s not confuse caution and prudence with fear. Good sailors have plenty of both.

Get started with, as other commenters of have suggested, small trips to learn what does and doesn’t work. You have made some commitments to your values that other sailors have not, so you’ll need to learn things that other current sailors do not need to learn, such as sailing, not motoring away from weather or sailing into a tight entrance to escape weather. You need to work on what you will do (Go offshore to heave to? Be more particular in planning routes and conservative in weather routing?).

Many sailors have done all of this before you with children on board. You can learn and will learn. Fear is a good thing. Overcome fear with learning, experience, and competence, don’t discard it.

You can tame the elements with competence – that experience is the most exhilarating of all.